If you have children and you are going through a divorce, hopefully they will be both your and your spouse’s primary concern.
Divorce can be scary and overwhelming for the children. Remember it is not just you and your spouse who are involved in the divorce, the children’s lives and future are also wrapped up in the divorce.
Some things that you can do for your children when going through a divorce:
- Even though you are going through a divorce, do your best to continue to co-parent your children. Let them see you and your spouse continuing to be on the same team as far as parenting decisions go. So for example if a child has been grounded at one home for a week, both parents should carry out the grounding. Daily routines should be as similar at both homes as possible.
- Remain active in your children’s daily lives, remain engaged. If you have helped them with their homework in the past, the continue to help them with their homework. Participate in their extracurricular activities; have dinner together; be sure and ask them how their day was, what is going on with them, their friends etc. Even though family time will be different, they need to know that they are important and that what is going on in their daily life is important.
- Let your children be children. Don’t put them in the middle of your divorce. Don’t say negative things about the other parent to them. Let them know that they are loved by both parents and that will not change. Make it easy for them to love the other parent and want to spend time with the other parent. Don’t make them feel guilty about showing love and affection for the other parent.
- Understand that children within the same household may react very differently to divorce. Be aware of this and do whatever is necessary to ensure the your children’s emotional well being both through and after divorce.
When parties participate in the collaborative divorce process one of the neutrals that participate in the process is a mental health professional. The individual can help the parties put together possession schedule that works best for their particular situation